Friday Funny

This week's Friday Funny is dedicated to Mr. Michael Scott. Allow your senses to take over.

Episode: Women's Appreciation - Season 3 
Michael: Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable. There's a wishing fountain at the mall. And I threw a coin in for every woman in the world and made a wish. I wished for Jan to get over me. I wished for Phyllis a plasma TV. I wished for Pam to gain courage. I wished for Angela a heart, and for Kelly a brain. "Michael, how can you appreciate women so much but also dump one of them?" You mean, how can I be so illogical and flighty and unpredictable and emotional? Well, maybe I learned something from women after all. 



Touche'

We Look Forward to It All Year Long

**If you are a man or extremely squeamish you should stop reading.**

A few weeks ago I took a trip to the lady doctor. Jealous much? I was the ONLY person in the room who wasn't pregnant. I don't think I have ever felt like more of a reject. It felt like an eternity until the nurse called me back and....wait for it...She was pregnant! Seriously? Is the doctor trying to make me feel like a barren woman failure or what?

The torture did not end there. I approached my ominous foe known as the scale with my usual caution. I step up feeling like there won't be any surprises. Then as casually as can be, the pregnant nurse pushes the big weight on the scale to the 200 lb mark. What! No offense to my friends over 200 pounds, but I am 5'1". I must be looking pretty overweight for her to automatically assume I am well over the 200 pound mark. Typically, the nurse assumes I am under 150 then is shocked to realize I am over that. And, you know, the nurse that takes your weight is the medical equivalent of the weight guesser at the carnival. She does this all day. She is probably a good guesser! AND I was having a skinny day. This was not good. Not good at all.

Enter the exam room. Initially, it consisted of all the usual fun lady doctor stuff. Weird paper clothes, creepy metal tools, and a baby mobile. Yes, a baby mobile. At first, I thought, "Hey this is a great idea! Something for me to focus on while I try not to hurl." Then I realized it was just another method to torment me for my childlessness! What kind of sick freak is running this sideshow? Maybe the plan is to make your pre-exam experience so crappy that you start to feel like the pap smear isn't so bad?

Just when I think it can't get any worse than feeling like there's a popsicle up in my lady business, the doctor tells me I need to come back for more testing. The last thing in the world you want to hear from any doctor. So, May 11 I will return for a pelvic ultrasound. Don't think this is like what they do to pregnant people where they spread jelly on their belly and take pretty pictures. No, it involves sticking something up there to expand my service and check out my uterus. Under no circumstances does expanding anything on your body feel good. Ok, maybe there is something, but I can't think of it now.

So now we wait. I'm pretty sure it's endometriousis. My mom and my sister both have it so it was only a matter of time. And that was my annual visit. Same old same old.

Book Review: Linger by Maggie Stiefvater

Let me start off by saying two things:

1. I loved the first installment of this series and couldn't wait for the second book to come out.

2. It took me 9 months to read this book.

It drives me crazy when an author is writing a trilogy and the middle book feels like just that- a middle book. For me, this installment just felt like one giant transition. Stiefvater's lyrical writing style became drawn out, predictable, and boring. By the end of the first chapter I knew what the final chapter would say. I desperately wanted a giant twist. Granted there was a small one at the end, it wasn't worth the giant book of blah it took me to get there. 

The one redeeming quality of Linger was the character development of Isabelle. She really became a complex character who you could relate to and really began to root for. Grace and Sam started to really wear on me and I got the feeling if I knew them I would want to vomit from their sheer mushiness. 

Grace developed Bella Swan syndrome in this novel. She said and felt things I don't think any seventeen year old girl would actually would feel. I think the whole girl with an old soul in a paranormal novel is a littler done right now.

I still love Steifvater's take on werewolf lore and the universe she has created. I haven't yet guessed how the series will end so I will definitely be reading the final installment. If you liked Shiver I would recommend pushing on through this book to make it to Forever. 

Cutest.Bakery.Ever!

This past weekend the hubs and I made our annual Easter pilgrimage to Ohio. We flew in to Columbus then drove the the Nasti (Cincinnati).  The weekend was pretty low key with movie watching over my Aunt's and a visit to John's Grandpa. On our way back to Columbus we stopped at the Outlet Mall where I made a serious score (I'll post later) and found the cutest bakery of all time.

Three Dog Bakery is a chain of pet bakeries located all over the country. They create treats for dogs and cats that look and smell like something you would want to eat yourself. They looks seriously yummy and are so creative! The best part is Rolly loved them!

It was so fun to see him try all the different parts of the treat. Sadly there is no Three Dog Bakery here in Maryland, but luckily I can shop from their Dogalog online. One of the best parts is that their prices are very reasonable. Other all natural homemade dog treats I have tried have cost me much more. 

Here are a few of my favorites!

A personalized dog bone. I wish I had had this for Rolly's birthday!

Spring Themed Cookies

Variety box that includes carob dipped peanut butter sticks, "doggie bagels," and Paw Print Biscotti.

Visit Three Dog Bakery to find one near you or order online. 

Glogging {Warning: Spoilers}

So last week I didn't Glog. I just wasn't feeling it really. Not a good reason I guess. Also, the ep was kinda meh. It's was like a tween episode for me. It was mainly their to give Wendy Paltrow another shout out. Although I gotta hand it to her I did enjoy me some Holly Holiday. 

I've said it before and I will say it again- Glee has way too many story lines going on. It's getting to be like a soap opera where you only see certain characters every 5 episodes. I mean what's going on with Puck and Lauren? Why did Carl leave Emma? Why hasn't anyone called out Finn for being a hypocrite?Slim it down to what the people want!

Did anyone else notice Mr. Shue sporting some major chest hair poking out the top of his shirt? 

I love that Emma's word on her chest was a Ginger. So random. I also really like the idea of putting a word that represents something you are ashamed of about yourself on a t-shirt.

Commercial Interruption: Can you believe they are making a Fast and the Furious 5 movie? I heard they are already planning on making a 6th. Hollywood is seriously out of new material...And lazy. 

Quinn's nose is awesome. I, myself, have a nose complex. My nose isn't huge. It doesn't have a big bump or anything crazy. But I feel like it looks weird. It doesn't even resemble anyone in my family. It.is.random. Although when I got my deviated septum fixed I had the chance to change it and I opted not to. It's part of me so I decided to keep it. But I also completely understand people who opt to change stuff. Life is easier for pretty people. It's a sad fact. 

Quote of the Episode: "Your illness is not who you are supposed to be. It's keeping you from who you are supposed to be."

Ok so we are 22 minutes in and where the heck is Sue Sylvester? Please see my initial comment about too many story lines. 

What in the world is happening to Sam's hair? It's gone beyond Bieber and has ventured into flock of seagulls land. Also, why is Quinn dressed like an old woman in a weird scarf and fedora hat? Is she writing a news story or something? Maybe she for jealous of the berets that the BullyWhips were sporting and decided she needed to wear some outdated headwear, as well.  Also, I feel like they made a little error when cutting Quinn's bangs lately. They are a little too feathered for my taste. But what do I know. It will probably start a huge trend of Farrah Fawcett bangs all over again. Plus she totally looks like she is sporting a Rachel Berry wardrobe lately. Anyone else notice the bobby socks and saddle shoes? What happened to the Quinn look? 

If Glee were a book with some type of literary value I would think this was a type of allegory representing Quinn being threatened by what Rachel represents. But this is Glee and all it probably means is that the stylist was lazy this week. 

What is your game Karofsky? I am still worried for Kurt. I love the Warblers! I hope we keep seeing them for a while. Darren Criss is seriously talented. If he makes a triumphant return to broadway I will totally be there! He has so much expression when he sings. Wouldn't a Warbler be an awesome Halloween costume?

Does anyone else feel like this was pretty much advertised as the Lady Gaga episode, yet there hasn't been any Gaga in the whole first hour? I call marketing ploy! Ah you won this time Ryan Murphy! Curses!

For some reason I am just not feeling the Quinn sob story. Blah. Story as old as time.  If I was Lea Michelle I would be totally over the Barbara Streisand comparisons. You guys aren't telling Rachel to be herself, you're telling her to be just like someone else. Is it me or is this whole thing a little ironic?  

Finally some Gaga! Kurt's dancing might give me nightmares. I love Emma's shirt! Maybe I can order one online. 

Thanks for reading!

iPhoto Hates Me!

Hi Everyone!

I swear I am trying to post, but iPhoto is fighting me every step of the way. I am strongly opposed to posting sans photos so I'll keep working on it. In the meantime make sure to check out Glogging tonight!

What I'm Listening To-Tuesday

My Adele album is basically on repeat on my ipod. Loves her!