Friday Funny

This week's Friday Funny is dedicated to Mr. Michael Scott. Allow your senses to take over.

Episode: Women's Appreciation - Season 3 
Michael: Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable. There's a wishing fountain at the mall. And I threw a coin in for every woman in the world and made a wish. I wished for Jan to get over me. I wished for Phyllis a plasma TV. I wished for Pam to gain courage. I wished for Angela a heart, and for Kelly a brain. "Michael, how can you appreciate women so much but also dump one of them?" You mean, how can I be so illogical and flighty and unpredictable and emotional? Well, maybe I learned something from women after all. 


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We Look Forward to It All Year Long

**If you are a man or extremely squeamish you should stop reading.**

A few weeks ago I took a trip to the lady doctor. Jealous much? I was the ONLY person in the room who wasn't pregnant. I don't think I have ever felt like more of a reject. It felt like an eternity until the nurse called me back and....wait for it...She was pregnant! Seriously? Is the doctor trying to make me feel like a barren woman failure or what?

The torture did not end there. I approached my ominous foe known as the scale with my usual caution. I step up feeling like there won't be any surprises. Then as casually as can be, the pregnant nurse pushes the big weight on the scale to the 200 lb mark. What! No offense to my friends over 200 pounds, but I am 5'1". I must be looking pretty overweight for her to automatically assume I am well over the 200 pound mark. Typically, the nurse assumes I am under 150 then is shocked to realize I am over that. And, you know, the nurse that takes your weight is the medical equivalent of the weight guesser at the carnival. She does this all day. She is probably a good guesser! AND I was having a skinny day. This was not good. Not good at all.

Enter the exam room. Initially, it consisted of all the usual fun lady doctor stuff. Weird paper clothes, creepy metal tools, and a baby mobile. Yes, a baby mobile. At first, I thought, "Hey this is a great idea! Something for me to focus on while I try not to hurl." Then I realized it was just another method to torment me for my childlessness! What kind of sick freak is running this sideshow? Maybe the plan is to make your pre-exam experience so crappy that you start to feel like the pap smear isn't so bad?

Just when I think it can't get any worse than feeling like there's a popsicle up in my lady business, the doctor tells me I need to come back for more testing. The last thing in the world you want to hear from any doctor. So, May 11 I will return for a pelvic ultrasound. Don't think this is like what they do to pregnant people where they spread jelly on their belly and take pretty pictures. No, it involves sticking something up there to expand my service and check out my uterus. Under no circumstances does expanding anything on your body feel good. Ok, maybe there is something, but I can't think of it now.

So now we wait. I'm pretty sure it's endometriousis. My mom and my sister both have it so it was only a matter of time. And that was my annual visit. Same old same old.

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Book Review: Linger by Maggie Stiefvater

Let me start off by saying two things:

1. I loved the first installment of this series and couldn't wait for the second book to come out.

2. It took me 9 months to read this book.

It drives me crazy when an author is writing a trilogy and the middle book feels like just that- a middle book. For me, this installment just felt like one giant transition. Stiefvater's lyrical writing style became drawn out, predictable, and boring. By the end of the first chapter I knew what the final chapter would say. I desperately wanted a giant twist. Granted there was a small one at the end, it wasn't worth the giant book of blah it took me to get there. 

The one redeeming quality of Linger was the character development of Isabelle. She really became a complex character who you could relate to and really began to root for. Grace and Sam started to really wear on me and I got the feeling if I knew them I would want to vomit from their sheer mushiness. 

Grace developed Bella Swan syndrome in this novel. She said and felt things I don't think any seventeen year old girl would actually would feel. I think the whole girl with an old soul in a paranormal novel is a littler done right now.

I still love Steifvater's take on werewolf lore and the universe she has created. I haven't yet guessed how the series will end so I will definitely be reading the final installment. If you liked Shiver I would recommend pushing on through this book to make it to Forever. 

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This past weekend the hubs and I made our annual Easter pilgrimage to Ohio. We flew in to Columbus then drove the the Nasti (Cincinnati).  The weekend was pretty low key with movie watching over my Aunt's and a visit to John's Grandpa. On our way back to Columbus we stopped at the Outlet Mall where I made a serious score (I'll post later) and found the cutest bakery of all time.

Three Dog Bakery is a chain of pet bakeries located all over the country. They create treats for dogs and cats that look and smell like something you would want to eat yourself. They looks seriously yummy and are so creative! The best part is Rolly loved them!

It was so fun to see him try all the different parts of the treat. Sadly there is no Three Dog Bakery here in Maryland, but luckily I can shop from their Dogalog online. One of the best parts is that their prices are very reasonable. Other all natural homemade dog treats I have tried have cost me much more. 

Here are a few of my favorites!

A personalized dog bone. I wish I had had this for Rolly's birthday!

Spring Themed Cookies

Variety box that includes carob dipped peanut butter sticks, "doggie bagels," and Paw Print Biscotti.

Visit Three Dog Bakery to find one near you or order online. 

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Glogging {Warning: Spoilers}

So last week I didn't Glog. I just wasn't feeling it really. Not a good reason I guess. Also, the ep was kinda meh. It's was like a tween episode for me. It was mainly their to give Wendy Paltrow another shout out. Although I gotta hand it to her I did enjoy me some Holly Holiday. 

I've said it before and I will say it again- Glee has way too many story lines going on. It's getting to be like a soap opera where you only see certain characters every 5 episodes. I mean what's going on with Puck and Lauren? Why did Carl leave Emma? Why hasn't anyone called out Finn for being a hypocrite?Slim it down to what the people want!

Did anyone else notice Mr. Shue sporting some major chest hair poking out the top of his shirt? 

I love that Emma's word on her chest was a Ginger. So random. I also really like the idea of putting a word that represents something you are ashamed of about yourself on a t-shirt.

Commercial Interruption: Can you believe they are making a Fast and the Furious 5 movie? I heard they are already planning on making a 6th. Hollywood is seriously out of new material...And lazy. 

Quinn's nose is awesome. I, myself, have a nose complex. My nose isn't huge. It doesn't have a big bump or anything crazy. But I feel like it looks weird. It doesn't even resemble anyone in my family. Although when I got my deviated septum fixed I had the chance to change it and I opted not to. It's part of me so I decided to keep it. But I also completely understand people who opt to change stuff. Life is easier for pretty people. It's a sad fact. 

Quote of the Episode: "Your illness is not who you are supposed to be. It's keeping you from who you are supposed to be."

Ok so we are 22 minutes in and where the heck is Sue Sylvester? Please see my initial comment about too many story lines. 

What in the world is happening to Sam's hair? It's gone beyond Bieber and has ventured into flock of seagulls land. Also, why is Quinn dressed like an old woman in a weird scarf and fedora hat? Is she writing a news story or something? Maybe she for jealous of the berets that the BullyWhips were sporting and decided she needed to wear some outdated headwear, as well.  Also, I feel like they made a little error when cutting Quinn's bangs lately. They are a little too feathered for my taste. But what do I know. It will probably start a huge trend of Farrah Fawcett bangs all over again. Plus she totally looks like she is sporting a Rachel Berry wardrobe lately. Anyone else notice the bobby socks and saddle shoes? What happened to the Quinn look? 

If Glee were a book with some type of literary value I would think this was a type of allegory representing Quinn being threatened by what Rachel represents. But this is Glee and all it probably means is that the stylist was lazy this week. 

What is your game Karofsky? I am still worried for Kurt. I love the Warblers! I hope we keep seeing them for a while. Darren Criss is seriously talented. If he makes a triumphant return to broadway I will totally be there! He has so much expression when he sings. Wouldn't a Warbler be an awesome Halloween costume?

Does anyone else feel like this was pretty much advertised as the Lady Gaga episode, yet there hasn't been any Gaga in the whole first hour? I call marketing ploy! Ah you won this time Ryan Murphy! Curses!

For some reason I am just not feeling the Quinn sob story. Blah. Story as old as time.  If I was Lea Michelle I would be totally over the Barbara Streisand comparisons. You guys aren't telling Rachel to be herself, you're telling her to be just like someone else. Is it me or is this whole thing a little ironic?  

Finally some Gaga! Kurt's dancing might give me nightmares. I love Emma's shirt! Maybe I can order one online. 

Thanks for reading!

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iPhoto Hates Me!

Hi Everyone!

I swear I am trying to post, but iPhoto is fighting me every step of the way. I am strongly opposed to posting sans photos so I'll keep working on it. In the meantime make sure to check out Glogging tonight!

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What I'm Listening To-Tuesday

My Adele album is basically on repeat on my ipod. Loves her!

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Are You Ready for Glee to Come Back or What?

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What I'm Listening To-Tuesday

This song is so darn catchy. I can't wait until Kat Graham's album comes out.

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You Can Disagree with Me but...

Does anyone else feel like Taylor Lautner could be the next Matt Damon? I think he will be an awesome action actor, but could possibly throw in a few serious pieces. I thought this movie would be lame, but I'm really feeling it. It makes me look at Taylor like an actual adult rather than a 15 year old. Will you see it?

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Saturday night the hubs and I ran to the grocery store because he wanted some ice cream (yes, he has the sweet tooth in the family) and I decided to pick up a magazine since I rarely treat myself to them. I settled on People with J. Lo on the cover. I'm not a J.Lo fan, but the headlines promised lots of pretty people inside so I decided to go with it.

Now I am not going to bash J.Lo's good looks or plead my case for someone else because it's obvious this woman is gogeous, but I do find it odd that after what a successful business woman Jennifer Lopez has been this is what they put on the cover. It's so totally random. Then, as usual, the article tries to put a spin on how she is beautiful inside and out, she feels her best when she doesn't have any makeup on, and a couple other cliches and that's pretty much the whole article.

I feel not only annoyed by this spread because a. it's totally anti-feminist and b. i know J. Lo is a total diva disaster. If you read my blog often you know I have had my share of celebrity encounters, I have a few famous relatives, and I just happen to have about 2 degrees of separation to a lot of celebs. I'm just random like that. I'm Midwestern so this totally makes no sense.

Anyhow, my husband has a good friend who stayed with us for a short while while working for free on the Barack Obama campaign. He was at our house the week after the inaugural ball, which as you know, J. Lo performed at. He had the unfortunate experience of being assigned to taking care of a few of the celebs who were getting ready to perform to make sure they had everything they needed. This was his in-between job before he got his presidential appointment. Anyway, I know for a fact J. Lo and Usher were the most high maintenance celebs present. She made Beyoncé look like Mother Theresa.

First she requested 13 rooms for her entourage. When she was told that each performer was only given two at the main hotel and the other members would have to stay at another venue she threw a tantrum and asked to speak to the president. Because, you know, he's not busy running the free world or anything.

Next, she requested that everything in her room be white or she would not show. This required all new bedding, new paint, curtains, and furniture had to be rented. Also, the temperature had to be at exactly 70 degrees- no more, no less. She asked that no staff be permitted to speak to her and everyone had to communicate through her husband Marc Anthony. He was actually a pleasure to work with and constantly apologized for his wife's terrible behavior. She screamed constantly at her staff and everyone was petrified of her.

In my small experience with celebrity it seems that the more you hear someone is down to earth and laid back, the less true it is. It's safe to say Jenny from the Block is gone and J.Lo Supreme Diva is here to stay. Beautiful inside and out? You decide.

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My Version of Ribbon Storage

I've been checking out various ribbon storing methods. There were some pretty good ones out there, but they all seemed like a lot of work. And considering I don't have many ribbons I wanted something easier and smaller. Plus I think it looks pretty dang cute. What do you think?

I bought some Ball jars on the cheap from Hobby Lobby. They were on the small side.  

 Then I bought some velcro at Home Depot. 

I modge podged some paper onto a ready made board I bought at Hobby Lobby and attached the jars to the board. 

Voila! Ribbon storage. I will say you couldn't store anything super heavy on something like this, but it works for ribbons and other light items. 

P.S. Can you tell this is in my new craft room? I'm just waiting on hanging a few things and I'll do the big reveal!

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Evolution of Smooth and a Giveaway

Have you heard of the Evolution of Smooth yet? Recently, my bloggy friend 567Kate send me a spring themed gift package as part of a blog swap. Included in the package was a lip balm from EOS. And I LOVE IT!

This weekend I have been on the hunt for EOS products. So far I have only found lip balm and shave cream at Walgreens. I am dying to try the body lotion and the hand cream.  Lucky for you I am giving one reader an Organic Lip Balm Smooth Sphere/Smooth Stick Multi-pack!

Wanna Win? All you have to do is be a follower of this blog and leave a comment telling me you are. The giveaway will end on April 30th and is open to U.S. Residents only. Good luck!

(To follow just click "Follow" at the upeer right hand corner or you will see a button on the left sidebar.)

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Join in the Fun with Project Kids

My Bloggy BFF Dana over at Saturday Mornings is working on an amazing cause to help reward deserving kids. She is getting ready for a raffle to help these amazing kids. To learn more, donate, and enter the raffle click the button below. Every dollar makes a difference!

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Dry Erase Tile

I saw this idea over at  Madigan Made. As often occurs with crafts I try to copycat it didn't turn out like I was hoping. The paint looked really crappy so I thought Sharpies would be a better idea. So I headed to JoAnn's to see what I could find and I discovered Sharpie Paint Markers. They were awesome!

Here is my version. It looks super cute on the counter. Did I mention it cost $3 to make? I got the tile for free at Home Depot because there was no barcode and I got the Sharpie Markers at JoAnn's using coupons for 40% off. 

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Fun with Chalkboard Paint

I finally managed to buy some chalkboard paint. I've been wanting to try it for a while and I was pretty pleased aside from the fact I accidentally got green instead of black.

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Blonde or Brunette?

I'm trying to decide if I want to dye my hair brown or stay blonde. I can't decide. I know I like blonde better, but it's so much upkeep and I'm tired of it. I have to leave work early once every six weeks just to get my hair highlighted. Which do you think looks better?

These pics are super random, but I wanted some that showed what the color really looks like now and then. 

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It Was Only a Matter of Time

So this morning I woke up to something I have been dreading for years. I knew it was only a matter of time, but I thought I would be the exception.

Last night I left my sunroof open and it POURED. Poured may not even describe it. My beautiful car is a mess and I am waiting for the yuck smell to start. The detailing company is on its way to dry it out and recondition the leather. Keep your fingers crossed!

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Blog it Forward

I am a huge fan of the blog Sweep Tight. She has awesome giveaways all the time. They are so good, in fact, that I actually go back and tweet daily just for more ways to win. Blog it Forward is a hop she hosts that helps you take hopping to the next level. Check it out!

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Isn't She Wonderful?

I ordered some chalkboard labels via Groupon from Wonderfully Wordy and I went to town with them this weekend. I am loving anything chalkboard right now. I made a little treat jar for Rolly.

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Kakadu Pet Cot Giveaway!

Head over to Carrie's Rambles to enter to win your own Kakadue Pet Cot and Mat! This looks so comfy. I hope Rolly wins!

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